The Perfect Guy

I watch a re-run of “The Stepford Wives” just now and I realize something. I know, it can be a little weird and bizarre, something you see out of a horror show where the whole town turns into robots and yet it its set in a setting that is just so real, so normal.

The men wanted a perfect wife, someone who can cook, clean, wash, take care of kids, shop, have sex, serve the husband in all ways, with a big boops, perfect body, fresh make-up, doesn’t nag, always smiling, and basically perfect. You get the gist of it. And no surprising is that 99% of them felt the same way and turns all their wives into the perfect wife. It is only one guy who decided that he wanted a wife, not a robot and turn the story around.

Let say, if you were given a choice, what would you do? If you are given a chance to get the perfect guy, would you do it? I guess it has always been a dream for a girl to get a guy who can cook, cleans the house, “jaga anak”, and rich, charming, with a hot bod and cute looks. And given the opportunity, most girls would grab it and be the envy of their friends.

But, what is so good about this perfect guy anyway?

Would you give up on the chance with someone who can make you laugh and at the same time infuriate you? Would you give up on the time spend in knowing someone deep down and allowing that person to know you in return? Would you want to forget the joy of washing the dishes together or sharing the pain when the other person gets hurt? Would you miss out on the opportunity to argue with, cry for, dream together with someone who will share and understand it? Would you give up on knowing that despite your flaws, the other person loves you the same? Would you want to live knowing that the “I love you” does not mean a thing? Would you want to give up on loving someone and being love in return?

I wouldn’t.

We are made by God as companions for each other, not a slave for the other.

After all, as what she said at the end of the movie, “After knowing how perfect is, perfect isn’t so great after all”.

And to quote what my boyfie use to say

“What’s so fun about perfect? It’s the imperfection that makes life more interesting. “

~es~

Traditional vs. Modern

As I get older in age, one thing that’s always at the top of my mind is “Marriage”. Well, there’s not much that I could do to stop this thoughts. My friends are getting married and I’ve been receiving tons of invitations. There goes my salary this year My sister just got married. I pass by streets of wedding shops everyday to work. Every time I meet up with old friends and relatives, the questions that just seem to be the ‘in’ thing is “When are you getting married?”

Sigh…

Anyway, my biggest worry is not when, it’s how? Young people nowadays tend to be very modern and western-ish. But when it’s time to tie the knot, such a big hoo-ha occurs about having it the modern or the traditional way. One side of the family says 1 thing; the other says another, and not forgetting all the very interested relatives adding in a word or two. Well, you guess it right, most of the time, the couples who will be getting married are the ones caught in the middle, trying to please both parents, getting so stress out themselves and having to forgo the wedding they dreamt off.

Sad to say, all this have become such a reality. And sometimes it drags on after the wedding, and relationships gets strain.

Why?

Maybe it’s because the parents do not want their daughter to be marrying away so easily. Maybe they want to do what’s best for her. Maybe the groom family is not multi-millionaires. Maybe both sides do not want to give in so easier and want the best they can get out of this wedding. I really don’t know..

All I can say is leave the couple to decide what they want. It does not matter how many tables each sides get, or who gets invited, who does not, who collects the money, who pays for what, where will the dinner be held, how big is the hall, how much dowry is given, where will the honeymoon be, and this list goes on.

It does not matter if it’s carried out the traditional way or the more modern way. What matters most is that the couple is HAPPY. After all, they are the ones getting married, NOT YOU.

~es~

p.s. And if all else fails, there is always something call eloping *winks*. But i’m definitely not encouraging that. I’m a fairytale girl and I WANT A FAIRYTALE WEDDING :p

Why do I talk like a baby?

Do you act or talk like a baby when you are with your boyfiend?

Come on, be truthful… I believe that the majority of girls act or talks like a baby when they are with their boyfiend.

Why do we actually do that? We pout and flirt and act “manja-manja” whenever we are together with them and believe me, you ONLY do it when you are alone with him. When there are other people around, you are a different person.

Why do we do it?

Maybe is because you want your guy to feel like the strong, big macho man, who is able to protect his baby. Maybe is because you want to sweet talk him into taking you somewhere or buying you something. Maybe is to make him laugh at your antics. Whatever the reasons, only you yourself knows it..

But I’ll let you in on a secret. When you baby talk with your boyfriend, he believes that you are in love with him. It’s a guy thing. That’s how they tell whether a girl is in love with them or not. Surprised? Well, I guess it’s been around for ages. *sigh* and they say it so difficult to understand girls *eyes roll*

I meant, if a girl does not love a guy, why baby talk with him? She can flirt and charm him, but not baby talk with him.

So the secret has been spilled. You girls know what you gotta do *winks*

~es~

Things you should never say to your boyfriend..

After being in a relationship for a couple of years, I’ve learned a few things. I’m no expert but well, at least I have some experience. Even though we have an open, honest relationship, some things are just not meant to be said. So to all the girls out there, read and learn. Don’t repeat the same mistake…

Here is my list of “Things never to say to your boyfriend:

1. “You know, Annie’s pregnant… but you must promise never to tell it to anyone”

It’s going to be hard for him to remember what he can or cannot say. Not only is he carrying around the weight of all your secrets, he needs to remember your friend’s secret as well. Well, if he did spill the beans, you will get the blame from your friend, not him.

2. “After we get married….”

You might just scare him off. Most guys are afraid of commitments. Don’t ask me why, I still can’t figure it out yet. I guess it’s the animal instinct in them that if they get married, they lose out on maybe getting a better chick then you. But mind you, this is only applicable if you are new in a relationship. If you have been together for a long, long time and you are moving towards marriage, then it’s fine. But remember, if you wanna fantasize at the beginning of a relationship; keep those fantasies in your head.

3. “Do you think she’s pretty?

What do you think you will get by asking this question? If he says “yes,” you’ll probably get jealous and upset. You might even follow up with “Is she prettier than me?” Talk about a loaded question!

If he says “no”, you’ll accuse him of being a liar. You’ll wonder what else he’s lying about, even as you assure him you don’t mind if he says “yes.” Pfff…as if you’re that insecure!

Has he managed to convince you that he genuinely doesn’t find her attractive at all? You’ll wonder what his bad taste says about you.

See?

Either way, no one wins..

4. “I’m fine”

You know, I’ve used this word countless of time but I guess I’ve not a very good liar. He knows it from the look on my face. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve not said a word or look at him for the past hour. But when your boyfriend asks if you’re okay and you say you’re fine; your boyfriend most probable wants to tear his hair out.

Be open. Be honest. Share and talk to each other. Hiding your frustrations will eventually create more problems.

5. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

(Repeatedly. Even after he’s told you he really is okay.)

Haha. I’ve also used this countless of time. Sometimes when your boyfriend gets quiet and does not talk to you, you’ll get worried. I know how it feels. And us being girls, we prod and probe, hoping to understand what the issue is. But in actual fact, there is no reason at all.

I realize that men can get emotional too. After all, they are also humans. They have their ups and downs to, their bad days and moodiness.

Get him space and time.

6. “I hate my thighs”

If he didn’t find you attractive, he wouldn’t be with you in the first place. Period, end of story.

Talking about how unattractive you are, or how you don’t like certain parts of your body will only make you looks insecure. We girls like men who have self-confidence. I’m sure men are attracted to self-confidence women too. Don’t draw his attention to all your flaws (even though we all know you have them). Instead, show why he was and still is attracted to you. Be sexy and stay sexy.

7. “Why are you friends with him?”

You might not like his friends, family, dog, business contacts. But you don’t have to hate them. Don’t be in a position where he has to keep defending them. Learn to get along with them and try to see things from his perspective. Try to understand why he likes or trust them. Trust his judgments. And whatever you do, don’t ever make him pick a side. You will lose out at the end.

I’ve said enough. To all the girls out there, good luck in your relationship :p

~es~

*small excerpts from Shine at Yahoo

Girls. Complicated?

Just the other day, a friend of mine complained “Girls are complicated. First they want you to work hard and earn more money. But then when you work hard, they complain that you don’t spend enough time with them.”

At that point, I just keep quiet, not knowing whether to defend my own species or agree that girls are extremely complicated beings. And then I realize… Girls are not so complicated. It’s just that God made us differently from guys and the way we think and feel are much different.

My guy friends always tell me that the minds of girls are very complicated and it is not easy understanding them. Girls say something but mean another thing. They tell you they don’t want something, but deep inside they want it so badly. Why on earth girls cannot say whatever they want to instead of trying to make guys read their mind? They would all give a big SIGH…

So guys, here’s a lesson for you on how to lessen your girlfriend’s complain about the amount of time you spend with her and girls, here how to make your boyfie’s life easier.

# 1. Set aside 1 or 2 days a week just for yourselves. It’s because some weeks, things will get so busy and everything is extremely important or urgent and you gotta handle it or you are going to lose the customer and your boss will fire you, that kinda thing.. and before you know it, it’s too late and you might even lose her to someone who will appreciate her more. Remember that this means no interruptions from friends, parents, phone calls, emails, fax, etc… Believe me, it’s worth it. It doesn’t matter if it’s just yam char-ing at the mamak or catching a movie. What matters is that you set a time just for you both and please guys, make sure you spend that time with her and not with your phone or work.

#2. Quality, not quantity. I know. I know. Lots of people know it but not many people follows. Please, spend quality time with each other. Guys, there is no point in taking her for movies every single day of the week when you are not really there with her. If you are not “there”, don’t bother taking her out at all. You’ll be wasting your time and money. Girls are sensitive. They know when you are not there with them. Physically yes but mentally no. Be with her when you are with her and not a thousand miles away. That is what matters to us.

#3. Prioritize. I’m not saying that you prioritize your life. E.g. God, loved ones, finance…. (Please do it if you have not). But in your list of to-dos, you can do that. Some things can be put aside first. Determine what is urgent and important, what is urgent but not important, what is not urgent but important and what is not urgent and not important. If you have a very understanding girlfriend, then good for you. If not, prioritizing will take you a long way.

#4. Talk with each other. Girls are not that complicated, and neither are guys. All you got to do is learn to listen to the other when they talk. Really listen to what they are trying to say. Try to hear the 3rd conversation going on in their minds. And put yourselves in their shoes. I always believe that a couple should always talk to each other A LOT. Really really sit down and talk. Not just spend your time together watching movies or making out. Talking bonds people and build a better relationship.

I’ve said my part and I hope that it may help you in your relationship. And now it’s your turn to do something.

My final piece of advice,

Girls, please be MORE understanding and LESS demanding.

And guys keep in mind that making money is NOT everything. *at least to most girls :p

Toodles,
~es~