Things you should never say to your boyfriend..

After being in a relationship for a couple of years, I’ve learned a few things. I’m no expert but well, at least I have some experience. Even though we have an open, honest relationship, some things are just not meant to be said. So to all the girls out there, read and learn. Don’t repeat the same mistake…

Here is my list of “Things never to say to your boyfriend:

1. “You know, Annie’s pregnant… but you must promise never to tell it to anyone”

It’s going to be hard for him to remember what he can or cannot say. Not only is he carrying around the weight of all your secrets, he needs to remember your friend’s secret as well. Well, if he did spill the beans, you will get the blame from your friend, not him.

2. “After we get married….”

You might just scare him off. Most guys are afraid of commitments. Don’t ask me why, I still can’t figure it out yet. I guess it’s the animal instinct in them that if they get married, they lose out on maybe getting a better chick then you. But mind you, this is only applicable if you are new in a relationship. If you have been together for a long, long time and you are moving towards marriage, then it’s fine. But remember, if you wanna fantasize at the beginning of a relationship; keep those fantasies in your head.

3. “Do you think she’s pretty?

What do you think you will get by asking this question? If he says “yes,” you’ll probably get jealous and upset. You might even follow up with “Is she prettier than me?” Talk about a loaded question!

If he says “no”, you’ll accuse him of being a liar. You’ll wonder what else he’s lying about, even as you assure him you don’t mind if he says “yes.” Pfff…as if you’re that insecure!

Has he managed to convince you that he genuinely doesn’t find her attractive at all? You’ll wonder what his bad taste says about you.

See?

Either way, no one wins..

4. “I’m fine”

You know, I’ve used this word countless of time but I guess I’ve not a very good liar. He knows it from the look on my face. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve not said a word or look at him for the past hour. But when your boyfriend asks if you’re okay and you say you’re fine; your boyfriend most probable wants to tear his hair out.

Be open. Be honest. Share and talk to each other. Hiding your frustrations will eventually create more problems.

5. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

(Repeatedly. Even after he’s told you he really is okay.)

Haha. I’ve also used this countless of time. Sometimes when your boyfriend gets quiet and does not talk to you, you’ll get worried. I know how it feels. And us being girls, we prod and probe, hoping to understand what the issue is. But in actual fact, there is no reason at all.

I realize that men can get emotional too. After all, they are also humans. They have their ups and downs to, their bad days and moodiness.

Get him space and time.

6. “I hate my thighs”

If he didn’t find you attractive, he wouldn’t be with you in the first place. Period, end of story.

Talking about how unattractive you are, or how you don’t like certain parts of your body will only make you looks insecure. We girls like men who have self-confidence. I’m sure men are attracted to self-confidence women too. Don’t draw his attention to all your flaws (even though we all know you have them). Instead, show why he was and still is attracted to you. Be sexy and stay sexy.

7. “Why are you friends with him?”

You might not like his friends, family, dog, business contacts. But you don’t have to hate them. Don’t be in a position where he has to keep defending them. Learn to get along with them and try to see things from his perspective. Try to understand why he likes or trust them. Trust his judgments. And whatever you do, don’t ever make him pick a side. You will lose out at the end.

I’ve said enough. To all the girls out there, good luck in your relationship :p

~es~

*small excerpts from Shine at Yahoo

Girls. Complicated?

Just the other day, a friend of mine complained “Girls are complicated. First they want you to work hard and earn more money. But then when you work hard, they complain that you don’t spend enough time with them.”

At that point, I just keep quiet, not knowing whether to defend my own species or agree that girls are extremely complicated beings. And then I realize… Girls are not so complicated. It’s just that God made us differently from guys and the way we think and feel are much different.

My guy friends always tell me that the minds of girls are very complicated and it is not easy understanding them. Girls say something but mean another thing. They tell you they don’t want something, but deep inside they want it so badly. Why on earth girls cannot say whatever they want to instead of trying to make guys read their mind? They would all give a big SIGH…

So guys, here’s a lesson for you on how to lessen your girlfriend’s complain about the amount of time you spend with her and girls, here how to make your boyfie’s life easier.

# 1. Set aside 1 or 2 days a week just for yourselves. It’s because some weeks, things will get so busy and everything is extremely important or urgent and you gotta handle it or you are going to lose the customer and your boss will fire you, that kinda thing.. and before you know it, it’s too late and you might even lose her to someone who will appreciate her more. Remember that this means no interruptions from friends, parents, phone calls, emails, fax, etc… Believe me, it’s worth it. It doesn’t matter if it’s just yam char-ing at the mamak or catching a movie. What matters is that you set a time just for you both and please guys, make sure you spend that time with her and not with your phone or work.

#2. Quality, not quantity. I know. I know. Lots of people know it but not many people follows. Please, spend quality time with each other. Guys, there is no point in taking her for movies every single day of the week when you are not really there with her. If you are not “there”, don’t bother taking her out at all. You’ll be wasting your time and money. Girls are sensitive. They know when you are not there with them. Physically yes but mentally no. Be with her when you are with her and not a thousand miles away. That is what matters to us.

#3. Prioritize. I’m not saying that you prioritize your life. E.g. God, loved ones, finance…. (Please do it if you have not). But in your list of to-dos, you can do that. Some things can be put aside first. Determine what is urgent and important, what is urgent but not important, what is not urgent but important and what is not urgent and not important. If you have a very understanding girlfriend, then good for you. If not, prioritizing will take you a long way.

#4. Talk with each other. Girls are not that complicated, and neither are guys. All you got to do is learn to listen to the other when they talk. Really listen to what they are trying to say. Try to hear the 3rd conversation going on in their minds. And put yourselves in their shoes. I always believe that a couple should always talk to each other A LOT. Really really sit down and talk. Not just spend your time together watching movies or making out. Talking bonds people and build a better relationship.

I’ve said my part and I hope that it may help you in your relationship. And now it’s your turn to do something.

My final piece of advice,

Girls, please be MORE understanding and LESS demanding.

And guys keep in mind that making money is NOT everything. *at least to most girls :p

Toodles,
~es~

2010 is here.

“OH NO!!! School is starting soon!” My brother and sister have been moaning for the whole week. Not forgetting my mum who complains that she have to start worrying about food and transport and homework and whatnot. And the extra traffic jams in the morning. It’s finally backed to the real world everyone! Christmas season is over. Holidays are over. No more parties, late nights, presents, loads of food.

It’s a brand new year!

I like new years. I like setting resolutions. I know some may think that resolutions are a bunch of crap and it’s not like you will follow it after awhile. But I like setting my own resolutions. Without fail every year, I’ll write my resolutions. It’s not always that I achieved my resolutions. Sometimes at the end of the year, I’ll look back and sigh with dismay that I have not done anything. But setting resolutions gave me a goal, a direction that I can focus on and that at the end of the year, I can look back I feel the satisfaction of having done something in my life. Don’t ever let this happen to you; when one day, you stop and realize that your life has passed you by and that you have not accomplished anything yet.

So for all those people out there who are having the Monday blues, here’s something for you to read “2010.Grow Up.”

And then get started on your resolutions. I’ve done mine..

~es~

Courage to go…

Just the other day, I watched Stephen Chow latest movie. And what I realize is that this movie it’s not a love story or a dance movie. It contains a much deeper meaning then that. It’s about dreams and how people achieved their dreams. Whether it was the rich young man who became so rich, to the village girl who wanted to dance, or the villages who came to the city to earn more money; all of them have dreams and the story tells of it.

I remember a phrase from the movie. It goes something like “It’s easier to give up. But it takes courage to go after your dreams.” And that struck me.

You know, so many times I have given up on things just cause it was too hard. I’ll convince myself that it’s not worth my time and that it is just not meant to be. Or maybe I will just push it aside and try to forget about it.

I’m sure many of you can relate to this. It is way much easier to give up. It takes up less time and effort.

But after watching this movie, I’ve realize…

Maybe its time to go chasing after my dreams again…

It will take more effort and determination, but the satisfaction you’ll get at the end, might just be worth it…

Make-ups? What??

Just the other day, a guy asked me “How come you don’t put make-up? Don’t you wanna look pretty?” At that time, it seems pretty normal question to me.

But as I was driving home, I thought to myself. “Does it really matter? Why on earth do we put make-up for?” Have you ever wondered?

Maybe it’s because:

1. We girls use make-up to beautify ourselves?

2. We girls want to look more attractive to guys?

3. We want to build our confidence?

4. To hide our flaws?

5. Make-up gives us more self-worth?

You know, I think it’s such a shame for girls to need make-up to validate them selves. Make-up does not increase ones self-worth nor does increase ones attractiveness. I am talking about attractiveness, not prettiness. No, I’m not saying it’s wrong. I’m just saying that sometimes we put make-up on for the wrong reason. If you are putting on make-up for your own self, because you like it, then it’s fine. But if you are doing it to make yourself more attractive to others, then you got to think twice about it.

I truly believe that beauty shines from within. Make-up does not beautify you. It just enhances the beauty that you already have. If a guy likes you, they should like you for who you are inside. Not just cause you look pretty with all the make-up on the outside. And if a guy wants you to put make-up for him all the time, then something must be wrong.

Personally, I’m a strong believer of natural beauty. I prefer not to have any make-up on, maybe cos I’m lazy *grins*. But that does not mean I don’t put make-up at all. Sometimes, when the occasion calls for it, or when I feel like it, the make-up goes on. And I use it because it makes me feel good and it gives me more confidence.

So to all the girls out there with the heavy make-up and stuff, remember that “True beauty comes from within”.

LovePieces against plastic Barbie doll wannabes :p

~es~